Swingers

Oh yes, you are correct. This is yet another sex-related post about SL. This time it's about swinging. To me, swinging is like where you can have multiple sex partners. You can have a significant other such as a submissive or partner or wife in SL (or all of the above), yet you can go out and "play" with others.  But to many, swinging is when you and your partner go out and wife-swap. For example, I log into SL and know that my sub cat cannot be online, yet I want to play. I can go to hang outs or sex places and have some virtual sex if I want to. But if we do end up together online at the same time, we can also go out and play with other couples, and other people in general, such as an orgy. But I'm finding out that my definition of "swinging" is not the same concept as others have.

If you look at Wikipedia, the definition for swinging is something like, "non-monogamous behavior, in which singles or partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity". It goes on to elaborate but basically, that definition takes all the excitement out of the concept. It's fun! It's also very nice to know that there is such a huge and solid trust between yourself and your partner that you can behave like this and not have to worry about jealousy or any other bad feelings.

Basically, when I cannot be online, I want to make sure that my committed partner can still have some fun. And the same goes for me. If I am out exploring or partying somewhere and I'm approached and propositioned, I don't want to have to feel like I have to turn anyone down unless I'm not in the mood. It only makes sense. And when we are both online together, it's nice to be able to participate in a group orgy or something similar without having to worry about hurting feelings. After all, it's not like cat and I would be online at the same time yet take off in two different directions to play with other people. We would be together or at least in the same room if that were our desire. I'm sure there are other couples who take off without each other and find their excitement with strangers, but to me that just sounds like a lack of interest in the couple's relationship, not a method of bringing each other closer together through shared experiences.

A quick note here about BDSM or D/s lifestyle. The D/s lifestyle dictates that the submissive is to serve the dominant. That limit of servitude is to be determined by the couple when they reach that point of D/s lifestyle. But it is not uncommon for a sub to be instructed to serve her master along with another sex partner either familiar or a stranger. It's just the way that lifestyle is. Is that swinging? Yeah, it could fit the definition, partially.

But as you can imagine, there is going to be a certain amount of unasked for insecurity, jealousy, envy, mistrust and probably feelings of rejection. Many people simply cannot handle this. But others go on their merry way, enjoying chance encounters and even attending parties such as orgies and swapping parties. But if you are really curious and want to learn more about this type of lifestyle, then a swinger's group discussion is the way to go.

My friend Lainey holds a weekly discussion at RoseWould Plantation on Tuesday nights for an hour. During that hour, questions are asked and answered, experiences shared and examples given. It's a great way to learn about the swinger's lifestyle. The entire region of RoseWould is based on the lifestyle. The group of people as a whole are very friendly and open. It's so refreshing compared to many places I have been a member of. After your first visit there, you will feel right at home. Unfortunately, it costs L$500 to join the group, but at least you can score a 6-day free pass to see if the lifestyle is something you would care to pursue or not.

In the end, the swinger's lifestyle is certainly worth a look. If you have a partner, then you will most certainly want to discuss it with them first. It is not for everyone. But if you are looking for something different and maybe more excitement, then this swinger's environment might be just the ticket. And if you are single, I'm sure you are still welcome there. I'm sure lots of couples would welcome the opportunity for a 3-way encounter or two.

On a side note; I have been trying to free up my time in SL by not working as a DJ so much. So I resigned from two of my DJing event nights. But this place, RoseWould, was in need of a DJ one night, a Wednesday night, so I filled in. It was fun! Low lag, no do-not-play list, lots and lots of tips and like I said, a lot of open minded and naughty people. Now they are wanting me to be regular there and while it goes against my needing some more free time in SL, it's all about the fun and I really do have fun there so, we'll see. I like the place so we'll give DJing events a shot for now.

"You Say Slut As If It Were A Bad Thing"

One thing is for sure about Second Life, you can touch someones heart, funny bone, mind, a nerve, even soul, but you cannot touch their body. That's right! There is no real physical contact. No diseases. No accidental pregnancy. That concept alone, really opens up some doors for sexual experimentation.

"But wait!" you say, "If you cannot be physically touched, how can you feel sex?" Good question! I'm sure there are many analysts out there with theories, but basically it comes down to emotions and feelings. Trust me, you can feel someone's romantic/sexual advances in SL. Some people do not, but most do. That being said, let's find out what sort of doors this may open for many users.

It never ceases to amaze me, the popularity of these so called "free sex" places. Anytime I feel like meeting new people, I don't go to the Welcome Centers for newbies, I go straight for the free sex places. Just stand around there for a while and someone is sure to contact you. There might also be a "scene" going on where a couple (or more) are having their sex out in public. It's like reading a steamy X rated book but with moving illustrations.

The people that frequent these places are usually not friends. They have just met and are strangers to each other and living a "one night stand". The male is probably thinking of himself as a stud, and the female a slut. This type of sexual encounter is very exciting for most people. The woman likes being treated like a slut and the man feels excited that she wants him. It's fun for everyone. So this woman gets a chance to let go of her inhibitions. She can let go of all of society's rules and just enjoy herself. The man can explore his more aggressive (or submissive) side without worrying about hurting the woman or being arrested or getting a strange, sexy woman pregnant.

The males are looking for a slutty woman to "play" with. The sluttier, the better. They want a woman who wants their anatomy and is willing to try anything at least once. The majority of men I observe in SL at the free sex places, walk around with erections sticking out of the fly in their pants. No shirts, sometimes no shoes, but almost always pants. This doesn't really  make much sense to me, but I'm no analyst. I just observe. Personally, I prefer no pants and flaccid until an erection is required. And because SL does not provide anatomically correct avatars, the male penis has to be purchased. Due to this fact, the skin color of the male prim needs to be matched up to the avatar's skin. This is usually accomplished via the use of a HUD (Heads Up Display) attached to your viewer while wearing your male prim. But many guys do not even bother to do this, so you see a lot of light colored penis' as you walk through a free sex place. Honestly, I don't see how those guys land girls to play with, but somehow they do.

The females on the other hand, want to appear as slutty as possible. They can accomplish this through aggressiveness or by being submissive. They can appear helplessly bound to a device with their body ripe for some horny male's use. Or they can be eager to have sex with a male by flirting with him or even capturing the submissive ones. The women tend to appear in these free sex places as nearly naked in some sort of skimpy lingerie or straps or a corset or bikini or nothing at all. She can experiment and do things she would not do in her 1st life. And make no mistake about it, there are bi-sexual practices that the woman would normally never do. And same thing for the men. Anything goes at one of these places. You simply cannot do this often in real life.

So people get to let out their inner selves without much restriction. Women exploring their inner slut. Men letting their aggressiveness run wild. It's amazing some of the things you will witness. I will probably post some of these experiences in the future sometime, but why not see for yourself? Go to SecondLife.com.

No More Topless Tuesdays?

Last night was probably my very last Topless Tuesday at House of the Rising Sun. It was a tough choice for me to make but after putting it off for a week, I finally made my choice and went through with it. Alobar, the owner, was not happy but very understanding. I will still be DJing the Nakie Friday night events but no more Tuesdays at this time. The reasons? Basically come down to free-time management.

For many years, I covered my virtual land rent expenses (tier payments) with money I would bring into Second Life (SL) from my bank account. The amounts are not much really. 1000 Linden dollars equated to about $4 US dollars. But after going over my expenses with a CPA recently, it was proven that my "hobby" of living my free time in SL was pretty pricey. So I have resolved to stop bringing money into SL and instead, earn it inworld and keep it there. I tried selling stuff I create. Selling stuff for other creators (affiliate program). Having a nightclub and shopping mall. But none of that worked out. The best source of income I could find in SL for me was DJing events at well known establishments such as Dolls of Death and House of the Rising Sun. This has been working fine for about six months so far. If I were to spend all of my time DJing or working in SL, then I would be in very good shape. But that's not what I come to SL for.

I come to SL to hang out and socialize with people, invent and create things, alter other things to see what will happen, listen to music, try things I cannot in 1st life, play games with people from all over the world and much more. While I do like to DJ and entertain, I'm happier having free time to myself. So I limit my "work" to three nights per week. Each event being two hours and one hour prior to that to setup a music playlist, equates to nine hours per week which do not belong to me in SL. I feel that's a reasonable amount. Anymore and it would be too much work and would not be worth even hanging out in SL. Any less and I would not be earning any tier money in SL. So when an opportunity presents itself to triple what I make in one two hour event in SL, then I need to take it seriously. I could quite possibly cut my DJing down to two nights per week freeing up at least three hours of more time to spend with my friends or work on my creations.

It would appear that a place which I thought was off limits to me, now is available. There will be no mention of this place in my blog until they tell me I actually do have the "job". You see, I'm on a three week trial period with them. It doesn't make any sense to me, but they have been at this type of work/entertainment for years so they must have been burned in the past by other DJs? I can only speculate. This place was introduced to me a while back by a very close friend who is currently an ex friend. We were seriously close back then and this was her "stomping-ground". So when we split up in a not-so-congenial way, I left the group and stayed away from the place. Well, my ex has since returned; showing up at one of my events at Dolls of Death with her man whom she's been with for over a year. So things are good for her and she's happy and she's been wondering how I have been doing. It has been delightful hearing about her experiences over the past couple of years and how happy she is. But this opens up a few of her current "haunts" to me, more specifically this swinger's place that needs DJs.

So last night I announced that it was my last Topless Tuesday night at Rising Sun. It was more difficult than I thought it would be because I genuinely enjoy it there and have known Alobar for fours years. Starie (my hostess at both Rising Sun and Dolls of Death) took it a bit harder than I thought she would but I have a feeling that this new place will be hiring her too.

The new place has lots of rules but one thing they do not have is a do-not-play list. This is going to be very nice. Being able to play what I want to is very liberating. DoD had a do-not-play list that included Nickleback. As you can imagine, I had to turn down a lot of people's requests. But that place is well worth it because the people there are wonderful, despite what images the name may conjure up, and they tipped quite well. House of the Rising Sun (HRS) has no real do-not-play list but they are a blues club so it's best to stick to that style of music. That's what most of their customers come there for, and they are a wonderful group of people too. A very popular place with a huge following meaning it was a tough decision to quit my Tuesday night slot there. The lack of a do-not-play list and the evidence of a great deal of generous tips makes this new place very attractive. We'll see if I can adhere to all their rules and if I can, and it turns out being as much fun as I anticipate, then this will be my new third event per week venue.