Time To Get Back To Some Fun

Unfortunately, I have been experiencing some health problems of late. But they are all taken care of now thanks to very highly paid doctors and hospital staff. Yes, I must be in the wrong 1st life business. But the point is, I have been forced to focus on RL instead of SL for a couple of months now. It's time to get back to SL for some fun.

Orgy night at RoseWould

First of all, I wish to thank everyone who was concerned for my well-being while I was away. I can't thank you all enough for your caring and concerns. Thank you cat and Neva for maintaining our land so that when I did finally make it back, I had a home to come back to. Thank you to my families at House of the Rising Sun and RoseWould Plantation and Dolls of Death for the welcomes back and well wishes. While in the hospital, very ill and nearly unable to write, I was able to logon to SL and chat with some people. First one I thought of was Alobar. He owns House of the Rising Sun and just happened to be online. So I sent him and Instant Message (IM) to let him know I was okay. Talk about a strange feeling! I became tired simply typing! So I had to cut it short and logoff and climb back in the bed. The whole ordeal was unlike anything I'd ever experienced and never hope to again.

Welcome back Otto at Rising Sun

At this same time, Len from RoseWould was having medical issues too. It just goes to prove that taking care of yourself is very important and that online friends can be just as close if not closer than face-to-face friends.

That being said, my welcomes back were awesome! I DJ'd for a bit at both places and even had a welcome back party at Rising sun. And while a few weeks later I ended up back at the hospital for a 4 day stay, I was having fun. Once the doctors figured out what was wrong with me, they treated me and I feel tons better. No more getting tired when I DJ'd or stayed online a long time. I even feel refreshed and ready to run around after a long set. So it's back to fun in SL again!

Keeping In Touch

Communications in Second Life are quite varied and easy. You can IM (Instant Message or type). You can voice chat or talk over the microphone. You can talk over skype or the phone. You can send offline messages back and forth too. But sometimes things happen when you least expect. You can lose internet temporarily and to plan for that, you can give certain people  you trust (non-stalker types) your cell phone number for texting. For example, I lost electrical power one time before a DJ event at Dolls of Death. I was able to use my smart phone to log onto SL and send an instant message to Cinder, owner of the club, to let him know I would be late or not be there at all. That type of backup communication can come in very handy.

I have a few people whom I trust with my home phone number and they trust me with theirs. If something were to happen where I could not be online for a while, I would be able to contact them and keep them posted as to what is going on. But no amount of planning prepared me for what happened to me the month of July.

On July 3, I fell very ill. So ill that I do not remember events and I was pretty much out of my mind. It was initially pneumonia but was later complicated with a breakdown of my immune system. I was in a 3 day coma and hospitalized for a month. During that time, I would have been unable to contact my SL family and friends. What happened was that my close and trusted SL friends/family were phoning my RL wife jojo. Fortunately, she knew most of them by their SL names and she was able to fill them in on what was happening to me. Unfortunately, the cell phone they were using to call on was about to be shut off due to non-payment of the service bill. My wife did not know how to pay it. She brought me the phone later on when I was off the breathing tube and my hands were no longer tied, along with a credit card, but I always paid it online. The problem was, I did not have a computer in intensive care and jojo did not know my username/password for my account. Hell, I could not even remember that information in my current state. So communication broke down for a while. So even with my SL family/friends knowing my cell and home phone information, communication was still a problem.

One of my SL friends just happened to live within 10 minutes of the hospital I was at so she would come out just about every night I was out of ICU and visited for several hours. We were able to do lots of catching up however she was not in the same circle of friends as my SL friends/family so she was unable to relay information to them about me. Still, it was wonderful having her there. It was also fortuitous that we had been RL friends since high school. We had lots to talk about and free movies to watch which were provided by the hospital.

Eventually, I was let out of ICU and into some other care unit. I borrowed my mother-in-law's laptop and was able to pay on my phone account which reactivated it. That didn't matter much though due to the fact that cell service there was very weak. Still, I was able to text most of my friends. My MIL's computer allowed me to logon to SL but it was very slow and even more difficult to type on. So logging onto SL was a huge chore. Needless to say, I did not do it very often.

Communication resumed almost in full by the time I was released from the hospital nearly a month later. I created a notecard which I could hand out that explained my long absence and while it seemed impersonal, it prevented me from having to explain to each and every one of my over 200 friends why I was away for so long. And while it is very highly unlikely that any of you will have to vanish from SL for that long, it sure is nice to have some sort of solid backup communication plan in place, just in case.

We are all real people here. We are a society. We deserve to know what happens to our dear friends. Make sure you have some sort of backup communication plan in place. Make sure your RL family members know about your close friends in SL and know how to handle the bills if you are ever incapacitated. And finally, to my dear friends from the past who have simply vanished without a word; I deserve to know. It hurts when you leave without a trace. The very least you can do is let the rest of us know you are leaving and not returning. We deserve to know. And thank you El for at least popping in once in a while to say hi. You have no idea how much that means to us.

Swingers

Oh yes, you are correct. This is yet another sex-related post about SL. This time it's about swinging. To me, swinging is like where you can have multiple sex partners. You can have a significant other such as a submissive or partner or wife in SL (or all of the above), yet you can go out and "play" with others.  But to many, swinging is when you and your partner go out and wife-swap. For example, I log into SL and know that my sub cat cannot be online, yet I want to play. I can go to hang outs or sex places and have some virtual sex if I want to. But if we do end up together online at the same time, we can also go out and play with other couples, and other people in general, such as an orgy. But I'm finding out that my definition of "swinging" is not the same concept as others have.

If you look at Wikipedia, the definition for swinging is something like, "non-monogamous behavior, in which singles or partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity". It goes on to elaborate but basically, that definition takes all the excitement out of the concept. It's fun! It's also very nice to know that there is such a huge and solid trust between yourself and your partner that you can behave like this and not have to worry about jealousy or any other bad feelings.

Basically, when I cannot be online, I want to make sure that my committed partner can still have some fun. And the same goes for me. If I am out exploring or partying somewhere and I'm approached and propositioned, I don't want to have to feel like I have to turn anyone down unless I'm not in the mood. It only makes sense. And when we are both online together, it's nice to be able to participate in a group orgy or something similar without having to worry about hurting feelings. After all, it's not like cat and I would be online at the same time yet take off in two different directions to play with other people. We would be together or at least in the same room if that were our desire. I'm sure there are other couples who take off without each other and find their excitement with strangers, but to me that just sounds like a lack of interest in the couple's relationship, not a method of bringing each other closer together through shared experiences.

A quick note here about BDSM or D/s lifestyle. The D/s lifestyle dictates that the submissive is to serve the dominant. That limit of servitude is to be determined by the couple when they reach that point of D/s lifestyle. But it is not uncommon for a sub to be instructed to serve her master along with another sex partner either familiar or a stranger. It's just the way that lifestyle is. Is that swinging? Yeah, it could fit the definition, partially.

But as you can imagine, there is going to be a certain amount of unasked for insecurity, jealousy, envy, mistrust and probably feelings of rejection. Many people simply cannot handle this. But others go on their merry way, enjoying chance encounters and even attending parties such as orgies and swapping parties. But if you are really curious and want to learn more about this type of lifestyle, then a swinger's group discussion is the way to go.

My friend Lainey holds a weekly discussion at RoseWould Plantation on Tuesday nights for an hour. During that hour, questions are asked and answered, experiences shared and examples given. It's a great way to learn about the swinger's lifestyle. The entire region of RoseWould is based on the lifestyle. The group of people as a whole are very friendly and open. It's so refreshing compared to many places I have been a member of. After your first visit there, you will feel right at home. Unfortunately, it costs L$500 to join the group, but at least you can score a 6-day free pass to see if the lifestyle is something you would care to pursue or not.

In the end, the swinger's lifestyle is certainly worth a look. If you have a partner, then you will most certainly want to discuss it with them first. It is not for everyone. But if you are looking for something different and maybe more excitement, then this swinger's environment might be just the ticket. And if you are single, I'm sure you are still welcome there. I'm sure lots of couples would welcome the opportunity for a 3-way encounter or two.

On a side note; I have been trying to free up my time in SL by not working as a DJ so much. So I resigned from two of my DJing event nights. But this place, RoseWould, was in need of a DJ one night, a Wednesday night, so I filled in. It was fun! Low lag, no do-not-play list, lots and lots of tips and like I said, a lot of open minded and naughty people. Now they are wanting me to be regular there and while it goes against my needing some more free time in SL, it's all about the fun and I really do have fun there so, we'll see. I like the place so we'll give DJing events a shot for now.

"You Say Slut As If It Were A Bad Thing"

One thing is for sure about Second Life, you can touch someones heart, funny bone, mind, a nerve, even soul, but you cannot touch their body. That's right! There is no real physical contact. No diseases. No accidental pregnancy. That concept alone, really opens up some doors for sexual experimentation.

"But wait!" you say, "If you cannot be physically touched, how can you feel sex?" Good question! I'm sure there are many analysts out there with theories, but basically it comes down to emotions and feelings. Trust me, you can feel someone's romantic/sexual advances in SL. Some people do not, but most do. That being said, let's find out what sort of doors this may open for many users.

It never ceases to amaze me, the popularity of these so called "free sex" places. Anytime I feel like meeting new people, I don't go to the Welcome Centers for newbies, I go straight for the free sex places. Just stand around there for a while and someone is sure to contact you. There might also be a "scene" going on where a couple (or more) are having their sex out in public. It's like reading a steamy X rated book but with moving illustrations.

The people that frequent these places are usually not friends. They have just met and are strangers to each other and living a "one night stand". The male is probably thinking of himself as a stud, and the female a slut. This type of sexual encounter is very exciting for most people. The woman likes being treated like a slut and the man feels excited that she wants him. It's fun for everyone. So this woman gets a chance to let go of her inhibitions. She can let go of all of society's rules and just enjoy herself. The man can explore his more aggressive (or submissive) side without worrying about hurting the woman or being arrested or getting a strange, sexy woman pregnant.

The males are looking for a slutty woman to "play" with. The sluttier, the better. They want a woman who wants their anatomy and is willing to try anything at least once. The majority of men I observe in SL at the free sex places, walk around with erections sticking out of the fly in their pants. No shirts, sometimes no shoes, but almost always pants. This doesn't really  make much sense to me, but I'm no analyst. I just observe. Personally, I prefer no pants and flaccid until an erection is required. And because SL does not provide anatomically correct avatars, the male penis has to be purchased. Due to this fact, the skin color of the male prim needs to be matched up to the avatar's skin. This is usually accomplished via the use of a HUD (Heads Up Display) attached to your viewer while wearing your male prim. But many guys do not even bother to do this, so you see a lot of light colored penis' as you walk through a free sex place. Honestly, I don't see how those guys land girls to play with, but somehow they do.

The females on the other hand, want to appear as slutty as possible. They can accomplish this through aggressiveness or by being submissive. They can appear helplessly bound to a device with their body ripe for some horny male's use. Or they can be eager to have sex with a male by flirting with him or even capturing the submissive ones. The women tend to appear in these free sex places as nearly naked in some sort of skimpy lingerie or straps or a corset or bikini or nothing at all. She can experiment and do things she would not do in her 1st life. And make no mistake about it, there are bi-sexual practices that the woman would normally never do. And same thing for the men. Anything goes at one of these places. You simply cannot do this often in real life.

So people get to let out their inner selves without much restriction. Women exploring their inner slut. Men letting their aggressiveness run wild. It's amazing some of the things you will witness. I will probably post some of these experiences in the future sometime, but why not see for yourself? Go to SecondLife.com.

No More Topless Tuesdays?

Last night was probably my very last Topless Tuesday at House of the Rising Sun. It was a tough choice for me to make but after putting it off for a week, I finally made my choice and went through with it. Alobar, the owner, was not happy but very understanding. I will still be DJing the Nakie Friday night events but no more Tuesdays at this time. The reasons? Basically come down to free-time management.

For many years, I covered my virtual land rent expenses (tier payments) with money I would bring into Second Life (SL) from my bank account. The amounts are not much really. 1000 Linden dollars equated to about $4 US dollars. But after going over my expenses with a CPA recently, it was proven that my "hobby" of living my free time in SL was pretty pricey. So I have resolved to stop bringing money into SL and instead, earn it inworld and keep it there. I tried selling stuff I create. Selling stuff for other creators (affiliate program). Having a nightclub and shopping mall. But none of that worked out. The best source of income I could find in SL for me was DJing events at well known establishments such as Dolls of Death and House of the Rising Sun. This has been working fine for about six months so far. If I were to spend all of my time DJing or working in SL, then I would be in very good shape. But that's not what I come to SL for.

I come to SL to hang out and socialize with people, invent and create things, alter other things to see what will happen, listen to music, try things I cannot in 1st life, play games with people from all over the world and much more. While I do like to DJ and entertain, I'm happier having free time to myself. So I limit my "work" to three nights per week. Each event being two hours and one hour prior to that to setup a music playlist, equates to nine hours per week which do not belong to me in SL. I feel that's a reasonable amount. Anymore and it would be too much work and would not be worth even hanging out in SL. Any less and I would not be earning any tier money in SL. So when an opportunity presents itself to triple what I make in one two hour event in SL, then I need to take it seriously. I could quite possibly cut my DJing down to two nights per week freeing up at least three hours of more time to spend with my friends or work on my creations.

It would appear that a place which I thought was off limits to me, now is available. There will be no mention of this place in my blog until they tell me I actually do have the "job". You see, I'm on a three week trial period with them. It doesn't make any sense to me, but they have been at this type of work/entertainment for years so they must have been burned in the past by other DJs? I can only speculate. This place was introduced to me a while back by a very close friend who is currently an ex friend. We were seriously close back then and this was her "stomping-ground". So when we split up in a not-so-congenial way, I left the group and stayed away from the place. Well, my ex has since returned; showing up at one of my events at Dolls of Death with her man whom she's been with for over a year. So things are good for her and she's happy and she's been wondering how I have been doing. It has been delightful hearing about her experiences over the past couple of years and how happy she is. But this opens up a few of her current "haunts" to me, more specifically this swinger's place that needs DJs.

So last night I announced that it was my last Topless Tuesday night at Rising Sun. It was more difficult than I thought it would be because I genuinely enjoy it there and have known Alobar for fours years. Starie (my hostess at both Rising Sun and Dolls of Death) took it a bit harder than I thought she would but I have a feeling that this new place will be hiring her too.

The new place has lots of rules but one thing they do not have is a do-not-play list. This is going to be very nice. Being able to play what I want to is very liberating. DoD had a do-not-play list that included Nickleback. As you can imagine, I had to turn down a lot of people's requests. But that place is well worth it because the people there are wonderful, despite what images the name may conjure up, and they tipped quite well. House of the Rising Sun (HRS) has no real do-not-play list but they are a blues club so it's best to stick to that style of music. That's what most of their customers come there for, and they are a wonderful group of people too. A very popular place with a huge following meaning it was a tough decision to quit my Tuesday night slot there. The lack of a do-not-play list and the evidence of a great deal of generous tips makes this new place very attractive. We'll see if I can adhere to all their rules and if I can, and it turns out being as much fun as I anticipate, then this will be my new third event per week venue.

Motley Crue and Whisper Too

There are numerous live tributes to famous musicians throughout SL. I've heard of Ted Nugent, Rolling Stones, Heart, just to name a few. Basically, you go to one of these performances and the avatars are named after the real artists and take on their appearances. They play the instruments, drums, bass, guitar, etc., and perform on a stage to a live recording of the group themselves. These events are quite popular and draw a lot of people. They typically last one to two hours. My SL sister Whisper, invited me to come to one of these events.

My sis Whisper on the right

I was busy working on something that was not super important when she sent me the invite. It was for Motley Crue. I finished up what I was doing first, then asked her for a teleport. She invited me to a couple's dance and that's what we did. I like Motley Crue a lot so it was nice to listen to their live recording. But the Crue is not Whisper's style. I imagine her tastes are more along the lines of jazz or even country. She later confirmed my speculations but not before she told me she had to quit dancing and head up to the stage.

During the performance of Girls, Girls, Girls, most of the women in the audience jumped up on the stage to dance with Motley Crue. That was a nice touch. About that time, cat logged on and I invited her over. After she rezzed, she started dancing. By about that time, Girls, Girls, Girls was finished and Whisper came back so she and cat could dance for a bit. I had to leave for some quick business then a quick cuddle with cat and off to RL dinner for me. It seems it's getting tougher and tougher to find some time to set aside for SL lately, but I'm working on correcting that.

One of the things I spend much of my time doing in SL is DJing. Now, I really like to DJ but it's the income from that which I use to pay my expenses in SL, which are mostly tier. Because I spend 3 nights per 7 night week DJing in SL, I need to find a way to earn more tips in less time. As it stands, on a night that I DJ, I logon one hour early to setup a playlist. The events are two hours each so that's a total of three hours per night or nine hours per week. So at this point, I'm looking for a place which has patrons who all tip. If everyone there would tip, then I would be in great shape. Yes, I perfectly understand the reality of economics that restricts the amount of disposable income, but there are places out there where people tip their entertainers. I need to find me just one more of those places. If I can manage my time more effectively in SL, then I can spend more free time there. The only other alternative is to stop DJing altogether and keep bringing in my 1st life earnings, which is what I did for the first 3 years of my SL time. But the potential to earn an "income" in SL is there and to ignore that is unwise. People make money in SL. They take that money and spend it on the virtual economy. That's what makes SL possible. I would rather be a part of that economy and earn my way there than bring in outside money. That's just how I feel about it. If it becomes too difficult to pull that off then I'll probably go back to bringing money into SL and having all 7 nights of my week free to do as I please. As it stands I have two great places to DJ. One more should take care of all my financial needs.

Couples Dance Controllers

Animations and scripts are what make things happen in Second Life. With animations and scripts working together you can sit on chairs or in cars. You can swim or even eat and have sex. You can dance alone or with a partner. It's that dancing with a partner that we want to address here for a few very good reasons.

Couples dancing has to be synchronized. In order for two avatars to share an animation there must be some sort of controller. In beds and other animation devices where more than one avatar interacts with another, the controller is usually embedded in the furniture. In the case of a couples dance controller, they are normally set out in the open where people can recognize it and click on it to summon poses that the couple can "sit" upon to activate the animations. In this case, dances. This may sound pretty simple and straight forward but it's not. It can be, but it's not. Let me illustrate.

Rainbow colored Intan controller, top center

The Intan brand of couples dance controller is universally recognized. They come in the form of a slowly rotating, rainbow colored set of balls, or often times a heart shape. This makes sense. Most people will look around the club they are in for something like this to activate if they want to dance with someone. Intan also makes single dance controllers. So if you are by yourself, you can click on the blue controller if you are wanting male dances and the pink controller if you want the female dances. Intan also has remote controllers. These look like a rainbow colored ball on the top of a small post, plus two little people hanging onto the post. One is blue and the other pink. For example, if you want to dance a single female dance, you click on the pink person hanging onto the post. If you want to dance with someone, you click on the rainbow colored ball. It's pretty straight forward.

You will see a menu pop up in your viewer's window with control options for the dance. It will first ask if it may animate your avatar. This is important because these controllers can be clicked on accidentally and you may already be animated with a dance in your animation overrider (AO. Subject for another post), which would interfere with your current animation. You need that option to be able to say No. There are also a list of dances to choose from by name and a Tools button to use to adjust your dance or resynchronize the dance. Often times, due to lag or your partner's computer running slower or faster than yours, you may need to resync your dance. At clubs that have lots of dances, you can select couples dances that fit the mood of the music. There are waltzes, slow dances, fast dances, goofy dances (numerous ones of those), salsas, etc. Just about everything you can think of.

Brand X dance controller in the disco ball

The only problem I have with the Intan system is that you really need to wear a HUD to help you control the dances. The HUD has a Resync button and if  you try to access the resync feature using the default control menu without the HUD, you could get lost trying to find it under the Tools menu, especially if the club has lots of dances. To stop dancing, all you have to do is press the Stand Up button which appears in your viewer once you sit on a dance ball.

That is all well and good. But there is at least a couple of other dance controllers available out there and one of them that has appeared in the past year or so has be scowling. I will not call it by name here because it is not the goal of this blog to say anything bad about anyone or any product (unless it's griefers). Please allow me to explain first. I would not mind the new dance system at all except for the fact that it's quite popular. This is discouraging because I don't like it for a number of reasons. First of all, it can take any shape or form. You cannot find it. It's annoying to search for a couples dance controller and have to ask the host in public chat where to find it. I've seen it in mirrored disco balls and in dance floors. Sure, putting the controller in the dance floor seems to make sense. After all, my first club had a crude dance controller in the dance floor and I never remember anyone asking me "how do I dance here?". But that was five years ago. Today, people are looking for dance controllers. They are not thinking it's in the dance floor. And a disco ball? Well, it's not real obvious. Perhaps if it had text hovering over it? That might help. But nobody can disagree that if there is an Intan controller in the club, people will find it and know what it is.

Another issue I have with the Brand X controller is that when you click on it, you get a pop down message. Now if you are using the default SL viewer with the default settings, you will not see this pop down message. It's not real obvious in those viewers. That causes more problems that you can imagine. The message is asking if you want to dance single or couples. If you see the message then you can choose singles or couples but it will also ask to animate you. This part is bad because another pop down menu will present itself and cover that most important question. It's caused a great deal of confusion as you can imagine. So lots of hosts and club owners have taken to telling the patrons to relog onto SL to hopefully fix the problem. And I have run into that issue in the past. I had to relog just to get the dance controller to work for me. I have never had that issue with the Intan. So why are club owners using this less-than-desirable controller? But wait, there's more.

Click the deck to dance

Once you choose to dance a couples dance, it informs you that dance balls to sit on are on their way to you. If you are male you sit on the blue ball and your partner on the pink ball. It makes sense. The problem is that the balls will present themselves (rez) to your far left and forward. Here's the problem with that. Say you are on a crowded dance floor with your woman and you find a small spot to dance with her that's unoccupied. So you ask for and find what to click on to dance and when you do, it rezzes the dance balls inside of another couple next to you. Once you "sit" on those dance balls, you cannot move except for the dance animations. You will be dancing inside of your neighbors. Most women don't care for that. The Intan does not do that. It rezzes the dance balls right where you are standing. So why are club owners using this less-than-desirable Brand X controller? But wait, there's more.

Actually, this is not so bad really. The Intan controller works best if you use their HUD. The HUD is free but they are not always easy to find and they are NOT included inside the dance controller menu. This other system does have their dance HUD inside their menu and it's offered as an option. This is handy because in order for me to use an Intan dance controller HUD, I have to search my extensive inventory. I have taken to including it in a file folder which I can quickly look up called Otto. I have lots of default items in there such as hair and skin, etc., and my Intan HUD is right there. But the other controller has the HUD right in their menu. Very handy except for the fact that it attaches itself to your upper right screen position as a default location. The Intan does this too but because I keep using the same Intan HUD, I have edited it to attach itself more to the center of my viewer screen. This other controller HUD removes a HUD I like to keep as always on and as default. And I did try once to edit and move this Brand X controller HUD over to the center of my viewer, but then it malfunctioned. It's as if it has to occupy the upper right corner of your viewer, removing any other HUD that was in that location. So annoying. So why are club owners using this less-than-desirable and user unfriendly controller?

I can only speculate. First of all, Intan dance controllers are very difficult to load with dances. There is a very real possibility that you can lose your non-copy dance animations as you are trying to install them into the Intan. I know, this has happened to me. There is even a company out there that pre-loads Intans with dances so you can purchase them fully loaded without having to load them yourself. They do a lot of business. So it's possible that this Brand X dance controller is easy for the club owner to use and load. But still, once you get used to loading the Intan like I have, it's not bad at all.

Another reason could be cost. It might be much less expensive purchasing the Brand X controller, I don't know. I think I paid around L$2000 for my Intan? Probably less than that for the couples controller. Then I purchased the two singles controllers later, along with a "Dance Anywhere" remote controller which is copy-able. So I might have up to L$3000 into my Intan system? If the Brand X controller is less than that then that might explain why more club owners are using it.

Finally, it could be that because the Brand X dance controller is new, it's better. That's not necessarily true. With all of the patrons having trouble with the Brand X controller, it's obvious that it is not better than anything else. If it's not instinctive to use, then it's not practical, especially when there is at least one other controller out there that is.